Rebirth

There's nothing more uplifting that to express your random thoughts and feelings into one coherent language - that of the written type!
I am still in a fit of frustration over the whole damn thing...
Sometimes, I blame Dr. Phil and Oprah for their self-help books and recommendations coz some people just won't bother to change at all!
Here I go again, pitting my little ideals against established institutions!
Will it be wrong to expect something good in return for a job well done?
Nopes would definitely one of your answers but then again, it depends on which company you're working for.
Mine, is perhaps one of the most critical and hypocritical of all. After all the literal blood, sweat and tears you've put under extreme duress to deliver the difference you still come short of expectations. Despite the 'Lowelian' touch of excellence that I've put in ever small effort I make. I still get a remark for falling short of expectations.
That blew it! Simple words but made a lot of psychological impact...
I had no recourse but to wield my thoughts and transform them into hurtful words. I have to sting back (blame it on the scorpio in me). I just couldn't let this pass. Blinded by this vision, there was nothing left but the blurt out my angst and fettered emotions. I was devoid of compassion. I was devoid of rationality. I was devoid of empathy. But I knew deep inside, the substance of what I am made of did not escape. It was at the very moment, pieces came into play. Words upon words; phrases upon phrases combined to form my lance that will pierce a person's heart to its very core. That was my only weapon. That was my only war. I've been always cultured not to disrespect my elders. But in a way, I had to stand up for my right and not be trampled upon by the colossus just because that person owns the company. I have had enough of disheartening, humiliating and deeply, thought-provoking moments with her. She may own the company, but she doesn't own the people working for her. She can pay us for our services but that doesn't imply that she can take over our lives and control and expect us to blindly follow her every command. A leader like that would never find true happiness. At the end of the day, when you have nothing to share your happiness with only your dog and your plant - that only shows how empty your life is.
Successful?
Nah!
As I've always quoted myself (please let me have my Dr. Phil moment!), "Success is a personal definition." Only you can define your success. You can be successful even when you're a mother, a housewife, a lowly worker, a student. But what's more essential to this is that since you define your success, only you can give it the meaning you want it to be. And that's what's she's missing. The substance of it all. She can have her plethora of awards, plaques, trophies and what-have-yous. But they'll be worth nothing because there was never a meaning to each one of them. She doesn't even ascribe it to the people who had made it come true. She maybe the owner of her company but she doesn't do it alone. She needs people to make her ideas and orders real. She can't do it on her own. She should reflect upon herself that she too was human before she became CEO & President.
And so, I guess, I can safely say, my weaning from this company has just validated my existence. I exist to challenge the norms- not to conform but to respond to the dictates of the times. My ideals are always simple - fairness and equality.
And as I chart another journey in my life, they still remain the same.
This was me. This is me. This will be me. As always. AD78